He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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