i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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