he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize