Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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