that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize