Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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