I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need water and some morals
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize