she looked like the before picture.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize