i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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