If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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