My liver just broke up with me...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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