omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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