So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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