Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
last night I used snow as a chaser
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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