Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize