It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize