it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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