someone threw a dead crab at me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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