he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it glows. i had to have it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The ass gains better be worth it
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