I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize