Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize