i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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