he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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