'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize