You made me cry and you don't even care
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize