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New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
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