Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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