your room smells of hookers.
And success
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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