My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Randomize