Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
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He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
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Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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