You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize