Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
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I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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