SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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