If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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