Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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