There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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