No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize