If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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