Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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