We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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