Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize