Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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