yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
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I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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