i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize