There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize