I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize