Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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