That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize