is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
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She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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