4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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